Shhhh

Silence is golden.
Or so they say.

I suppose it can be good at times. You know, those times where you really shouldn't say what you're thinking. Orrrrrr, when your kids have been whiney/clingy/crying/bratty ALL day long. Yeah, I'd say silence is definitely GOLDEN then! A precious, and rare luxury.

There are also times where silence can be down right painful. For instance, when you aren't exactly getting along with your spouse. Now, sometimes you just want the other person to STOP talking, so yeah, there's a point where silence is golden. But when there is a problem, or tension that one of you would like to speak about, yet the other person really has no interest...it is painful. Obviously I'm not saying it is physically painful. Being quiet never gave anyone an aneurism. Wait...I'm not actually sure about that. (note - further research should be done on aneurism. - also, thank you spellcheck!)

That awkward time where you want to speak, but you aren't sure what to say. You wish that all the correct words could just come pouring out of you at once. Sans all the crazy emotions that tend to come with that sort of buildup. Y'know, you just get to talking about something and next thing ya know the water works are flowing, your voice is raising, probably a few four letter words here and there. Yeah, that's what silence can help avoid. But you feel deeply that things need to be spoken about. You want to touch and be touched. Kissed and cuddled, get things hot and heavy, move past it all and just be one. As husband and wife are meant to be. You can't just go for it, for fear of rejection. That's one of the worst things a person can really feel. Rejection from a loved one. (note- rejection comes in many forms, this should be discussed on another day.)

So, what are you suppose to really do? Just sit and wait? Do you know how hard it is to walk past someone a million times with a thousand and seven things running through your head?!! Especially for someone who is a natural "chatty cathy". It is hard to just sit and wait. But to poke around, refusing to give in to the mutely requested silence will cause bigger problems. If someone doesn't wish to speak to you, you kinda have to just let it be. After all, if the tables were reversed, you would appreciate the same. You have to give what you want to receive.

That seems to be a task I'm struggling with also. Through the past few weeks, I've realized a lot about myself. There is definitely work that needs to be done. I have to realize that people are going to do what they want regardless. Don't take everything so personal, learn to let go, speak with grace and meaning, develop a filter, say what you mean and only what you mean - nothing else. The list is a mile long, really.  What I can say is that as long as I do not give up, and I just continue checking things off my self to-do list; I will continue to grow as a person. Not only as a person but as a mother, wife, friend, sister...nothing bad will come from it.

So for now, my first challenge is to just embrace the silence. No matter how awkward it may feel. Maybe there is a reason for it, hopefully it brings some positivity in this rocky situation. Thoughts should not be wasted. I'd say silence isn't golden. Maybe bronze or silver because at times it is more than uncomfortable (unless we are speaking about children. In that case 9 times out of 10, it is GOLDEN!)

Yeah - Silence... It is silver, sometimes bronze...