Getting fresh air is ALWAYS a positive thing. Feels good to get out, see things, feel the sunshine, teach your children about the world. You know... "stay on the sidewalk, watch for cars, wait for the little green man before we cross the street, this is a stop sign.." yaddy yaddy yaaa. All fun and enjoyable, right?
Well, sometimes. For the most part. I mean, it is definitely an experience.
So, today, I decide that I'm going to take my two rug rats on a nice, long, relaxing walk. Wear 'em out, get them ready for nap time. Before we leave the house I have to change the baby's diaper, make sure the older one uses the toilet, get us something to drink, and a snack. Make sure I have an extra diaper or two, a burp rag, my keys, money (just in case), and my cell phone. Of course then I have to pee. Baby starts crying so I figure I better feed her before we leave. Oh then she pukes all over me, so I have to change my shirt. Of course during all of that my son decides to take his shoes off, but then can't remember where he put them. Okay, it's fine, I've got this. Find the shoes, put them on, pop out the stroller, load it up and head out the door. Oh, wait.. Yes, son, you can bring two toys. No, not that huge dump truck, it is too big. No, you don't need five stuffed animals. Two small toys, hurry up, let's go!
Finally, we are out of the door.
Strolling down our street at the same time the garbage man just happens to be rolling down. My ever so observant preschooler says, "Oh Mommy, it stinks. It really stinks. and it is hot. I just want to go home."
Me - "Jman, honey, you're fine. The stink will be gone in a second. We haven't even left our street yet."
So we keep walking, finally drifting away from the hot, disgusting sewer type stench. -ahhh, fresh air!! We're walking and I'm just soaking it in. I mean, really, truly, for one whole minute, soaking it in.
Then I hear, "Mommy, I'm hot".
Well son, we live in south Florida, I'm hot too. Man up.
We walk some more. I'm really trying to get in a good pace. You know, that muffin top is just creeping up on me. I get going and I'm actually having a great little conversation with my little man. Then of course I get reminded AGAIN that he's hot (seriously it isn't even that bad!) and he's thirsty. Okay, okay... So we stop in the shade for a drink. I squirt him with a bit of water thinking that'll keep him cool for a while. No, really it just pisses him off because I then hear, "MOMMY! You got me wet! That's not nice, you should say sorry!!". Okay, okay.. I'm sorry. Can we please keep moving?
Here we go again. Setting a nice pace. I"m actually very impressed with my son at this point. He reminds ME that we have to stay on the sidewalk and watch out for cars. He's telling me all about being safe and how you always have to be careful. Good job little dude, good job.
Then he wants to stop and pick me a flower. How sweet. The boy loves giving me flowers, and even if they are dried up, long been dead dandelions, I always accept them enthusiastically. Oh, he's just the sweetest thing, but I don't think the elderly lady who lives for her garden would appreciate a little kid picking her flowers. So I try to explain to him about being considerate of other people's property, and all that jazz. So, again..we keep going.
But now, he's starting to get slow. Telling me that I'm moving too fast. Oh, and he's hot. I manage to distract him from all his whining long enough to make it another three blocks or so. Man, this is way more work than I'm up for right now. He's whining some more so I stop. We have another drink. Thankfully the baby has stayed asleep through all of this!! My little squishy just loves taking long walks.
I look at my distance calculator and realize we've made it nearly a whole mile. So, I grant my little dude his wish. We turn around and start heading home. Now, for the millionth time he complains about being hot. So, I stop in this little Mexican food mart to relish in the amazingness that is central air conditioning. So, we cool off, get a snack and a drink (ps- 2.59 for a loaf of bread, really?!), and head out once again.
My son has no sense of urgency. I think I could walk faster with two broken legs. So, what do I do?
I bribe him. That's right, I said it. I snuck in a lollipop when I got all of our other goodies, and I showed it to him. "Want this?" - yes - "Okay, well walk faster!".
Worked like a charm.
We make our way home. Of course we took two more breaks, stopped in an empty field to pick some dead flowers, stopped to admire sidewalk construction, I answered questions about why there are cracks in the sidewalk, detoured around some broken glass and of course answered the dozen of questions he had about why glass breaks. Practiced some more safety rules, and make it home just in time for it to start pouring.
How relaxing.....
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
My Rock
Every morning after I've fed my little monsters, I get online. Check Facebook, instagram, email, sometimes gawker, jezebel, or some other sleazy girlie gossip website, blogs I follow, and sales of the day through numerous websites. (this is all depending on the day of course) Today, I read a discussion between women talking about having their husband in the delivery room with them during labor. Good read. Some women went way overboard praising their husbands, some bashed them for not being there, and some went completely off topic talking. Of course as I read some of these stories, I couldn't help but to get teary eyed, (I'm such a sap) and have flash backs of my own labor and delivery.
Oh what a sweet and scary time. With Jackson, he was premature. I remember I actually drove myself to the doctor because Nick's boss wouldn't let him leave. He said, and I quote, "It's probably nothing. Women like to exaggerate". Well, considering they spent the next twelve hours trying to stop my labor to no success, I'd say I wasn't stretching any sort of truth. Unfortunately, that part of the story is one I don't like being permanently stuck in my memory. Driving and contracting is NOT fun!
Nick was great, and so concerned during it all. Asking the nurses questions, holding me while I cried about how scared I was. I had heard just awful things about having a premature baby, I was terrified. Not to mention I had absolutely NOTHING prepared. No clothes had been washed, the crib wasn't put up, I still had books to read on what to expect from a newborn. We stayed over night in hopes to be able to go home the next morning. (Note, sleeping in the labor ward is torture. Hearing a woman scream wildly for half the night really scares the poopie out of you when you're still nice, big and pregnant) Once the sun rose, the staff came in to check on me. Afterwards the nurse says, "Well honey, you're at a 5, so looks like you'll be having a baby today". WHAT?!! I wasn't due for another 5 weeks! I couldn't do that!! No way, not ready, please can we wait?! Nope. He's ready, your body is kicking him out.
...damn it.
Before I know it, I'm in the worst pain imaginable, crying my eyes out..absolutely petrified. Was able to get the epidural. Oh what a miracle drug. The doctor who invented that was an absolute genius. I actually took a nap and had to be woken up to start pushing!! Pushing (for this labor) was a breeze! The nurses, the doctor, and my husband all had a bet on when the baby would come. Popular vote was before 3pm. They're laughing, I'm laughing, pushing, laughing. Oh it was crazy. I've never heard of anything so absurd. Nick was there. The whole time. Following doctor's orders, encouraging me, making me feel more than loved. One more push, a huge gush of disgusting bodily fluid all over the doctor, and some more laughter and our first born arrived. Ohhhh he was beautiful. Nick and I cried and laughed, and laughed and cried, we were so happy.
Then, the scariest thing happened. Just as they laid him on my chest, they snatched up and hurried him out of the room. I didn't see him again for nine hours, and didn't hold him for three days. Because he was premature, his lungs weren't fully developed. I think he actually stopped breathing and that's why everyone freaked. The nine days we spent in the NICU seemed like an eternity. I was an emotional mess, (actually kinda crying just typing this..) I was engorged, antsy to get home, and tired. So tired. I couldn't have asked for anyone better than Nick. He waited on me hand and foot. Went to see the baby as much as he was allowed. Went and got me fresh clothes, good food, and he just let me be. Let me cry and told me that everything was going to be just fine.
...and it was.
With Kinsley....
Boy were things different with that little girl!! I was convinced that she was going to be early as well. Every day after I hit 35 weeks I would say, "I could have a baby any day now!"
Nope, I was pregnant for another whole month. We actually had to kick HER out (will never happen again, pitocin is the devil). They started the drip at 6am. I honestly mentally prepared myself for a whole day's worth of laboring. Before you know it, I'm in serious pain. He was right there. I never had to ask for his support. Most times he knew what I needed before I could think it. Spoke for me to the nurses when I couldn't. Funny how just a look can tell your spouse of many years exactly what you're thinking.
Through my screaming, he did his best to take care of me. Again, following doctor and nurses orders to hold my foot back. I heard the nurse tell him I was pretty strong, I think she even compared me to a WWE wrestler. At one point, I even bit his finger. I feel bad for that, but I really didn't know what I was doing. That is, until I heard the nurse pleading with him to make me stop. Apparently laboring woman with no pain medication doesn't know her own strength!!
I wouldn't have been able to do survive without him there. Well, I wouldn't have been in that situation to begin with if it weren't for him. He coached me, helped me remember to breathe, got me a cool rag repeatedly for my head. Just made me really feel loved and cared for. Not that he doesn't always do that, but anytime I truly NEED him, he goes above and beyond. When our little girl finally came rushing out, his face was remarkable. Such a proud Daddy. I remember panting, and smiling, and waiting to hear her precious cry. We didn't have to wait long. She was prefect through and through. I think Nick took about 300 pictures within the first three hours of her life. It was the sweetest thing ever.
He balances his roll of Daddy and husband perfectly.
Oh we have the most outrageous fights. We're awful sometimes, but most times...we are great. He is a brilliant care taker and I don't think anyone has ever or will ever love me more than him.
Oh what a sweet and scary time. With Jackson, he was premature. I remember I actually drove myself to the doctor because Nick's boss wouldn't let him leave. He said, and I quote, "It's probably nothing. Women like to exaggerate". Well, considering they spent the next twelve hours trying to stop my labor to no success, I'd say I wasn't stretching any sort of truth. Unfortunately, that part of the story is one I don't like being permanently stuck in my memory. Driving and contracting is NOT fun!
Nick was great, and so concerned during it all. Asking the nurses questions, holding me while I cried about how scared I was. I had heard just awful things about having a premature baby, I was terrified. Not to mention I had absolutely NOTHING prepared. No clothes had been washed, the crib wasn't put up, I still had books to read on what to expect from a newborn. We stayed over night in hopes to be able to go home the next morning. (Note, sleeping in the labor ward is torture. Hearing a woman scream wildly for half the night really scares the poopie out of you when you're still nice, big and pregnant) Once the sun rose, the staff came in to check on me. Afterwards the nurse says, "Well honey, you're at a 5, so looks like you'll be having a baby today". WHAT?!! I wasn't due for another 5 weeks! I couldn't do that!! No way, not ready, please can we wait?! Nope. He's ready, your body is kicking him out.
...damn it.
Before I know it, I'm in the worst pain imaginable, crying my eyes out..absolutely petrified. Was able to get the epidural. Oh what a miracle drug. The doctor who invented that was an absolute genius. I actually took a nap and had to be woken up to start pushing!! Pushing (for this labor) was a breeze! The nurses, the doctor, and my husband all had a bet on when the baby would come. Popular vote was before 3pm. They're laughing, I'm laughing, pushing, laughing. Oh it was crazy. I've never heard of anything so absurd. Nick was there. The whole time. Following doctor's orders, encouraging me, making me feel more than loved. One more push, a huge gush of disgusting bodily fluid all over the doctor, and some more laughter and our first born arrived. Ohhhh he was beautiful. Nick and I cried and laughed, and laughed and cried, we were so happy.
Then, the scariest thing happened. Just as they laid him on my chest, they snatched up and hurried him out of the room. I didn't see him again for nine hours, and didn't hold him for three days. Because he was premature, his lungs weren't fully developed. I think he actually stopped breathing and that's why everyone freaked. The nine days we spent in the NICU seemed like an eternity. I was an emotional mess, (actually kinda crying just typing this..) I was engorged, antsy to get home, and tired. So tired. I couldn't have asked for anyone better than Nick. He waited on me hand and foot. Went to see the baby as much as he was allowed. Went and got me fresh clothes, good food, and he just let me be. Let me cry and told me that everything was going to be just fine.
...and it was.
With Kinsley....
Boy were things different with that little girl!! I was convinced that she was going to be early as well. Every day after I hit 35 weeks I would say, "I could have a baby any day now!"
Nope, I was pregnant for another whole month. We actually had to kick HER out (will never happen again, pitocin is the devil). They started the drip at 6am. I honestly mentally prepared myself for a whole day's worth of laboring. Before you know it, I'm in serious pain. He was right there. I never had to ask for his support. Most times he knew what I needed before I could think it. Spoke for me to the nurses when I couldn't. Funny how just a look can tell your spouse of many years exactly what you're thinking.
Through my screaming, he did his best to take care of me. Again, following doctor and nurses orders to hold my foot back. I heard the nurse tell him I was pretty strong, I think she even compared me to a WWE wrestler. At one point, I even bit his finger. I feel bad for that, but I really didn't know what I was doing. That is, until I heard the nurse pleading with him to make me stop. Apparently laboring woman with no pain medication doesn't know her own strength!!
I wouldn't have been able to do survive without him there. Well, I wouldn't have been in that situation to begin with if it weren't for him. He coached me, helped me remember to breathe, got me a cool rag repeatedly for my head. Just made me really feel loved and cared for. Not that he doesn't always do that, but anytime I truly NEED him, he goes above and beyond. When our little girl finally came rushing out, his face was remarkable. Such a proud Daddy. I remember panting, and smiling, and waiting to hear her precious cry. We didn't have to wait long. She was prefect through and through. I think Nick took about 300 pictures within the first three hours of her life. It was the sweetest thing ever.
He balances his roll of Daddy and husband perfectly.
Oh we have the most outrageous fights. We're awful sometimes, but most times...we are great. He is a brilliant care taker and I don't think anyone has ever or will ever love me more than him.
Friday, September 13, 2013
They're only little for so long..
So, I'm thinking I should spend more time on my blog. Definitely need to add some pictures!! I take at least a million a day. Seriously, I'm a picture taking FREAK. I'm sure my (nonexistent) followers would love a peak inside of all this madness.
I'm also thinking it might be a good idea to start another one. This one is for me to just ramble on about whatever is going on in my head. Randomness... sometimes structured, mostly not. Is all this junk really what I want to look back and remember 5, 10, 15 years from now? Some of it, sure.. other things are just useless. I follow one of my Sibs, and let me tell you...each and every time I read her blog I secretly wish I could be adopted in to her family. The smallest details of a day are captured and put on to paper. The captions leave you laughing or saying "awww, how cute". Not to mention she has an impeccable way with words. Clever, that girl...
It's starting to make me think that all parents really should do something similar.
Day to day you don't really notice the changes in your children, but when you look back you really see how much they've grown. You aren't going to remember how every time your three year old scrapes his self, he not only has to have a bandaid for his self, but for his stuffed animal too. Or how even though he drives you absolutely BONKERS sometimes, he really is just the sweetest thing you ever want to meet.
By doing a better job documenting our children's youth, we will forever have a place to keep these sweet (sometimes sour) memories fresh. Twenty years from now I want to be able to remember all these little details that probably don't mean much now.
My kids are a gift, and I love them. I need to document their little lives. For all of us. The time is flying by way too fast...
I'm also thinking it might be a good idea to start another one. This one is for me to just ramble on about whatever is going on in my head. Randomness... sometimes structured, mostly not. Is all this junk really what I want to look back and remember 5, 10, 15 years from now? Some of it, sure.. other things are just useless. I follow one of my Sibs, and let me tell you...each and every time I read her blog I secretly wish I could be adopted in to her family. The smallest details of a day are captured and put on to paper. The captions leave you laughing or saying "awww, how cute". Not to mention she has an impeccable way with words. Clever, that girl...
It's starting to make me think that all parents really should do something similar.
Day to day you don't really notice the changes in your children, but when you look back you really see how much they've grown. You aren't going to remember how every time your three year old scrapes his self, he not only has to have a bandaid for his self, but for his stuffed animal too. Or how even though he drives you absolutely BONKERS sometimes, he really is just the sweetest thing you ever want to meet.
By doing a better job documenting our children's youth, we will forever have a place to keep these sweet (sometimes sour) memories fresh. Twenty years from now I want to be able to remember all these little details that probably don't mean much now.
My kids are a gift, and I love them. I need to document their little lives. For all of us. The time is flying by way too fast...
Friday, August 30, 2013
Shhhh
Silence is golden.
Or so they say.
I suppose it can be good at times. You know, those times where you really shouldn't say what you're thinking. Orrrrrr, when your kids have been whiney/clingy/crying/bratty ALL day long. Yeah, I'd say silence is definitely GOLDEN then! A precious, and rare luxury.
There are also times where silence can be down right painful. For instance, when you aren't exactly getting along with your spouse. Now, sometimes you just want the other person to STOP talking, so yeah, there's a point where silence is golden. But when there is a problem, or tension that one of you would like to speak about, yet the other person really has no interest...it is painful. Obviously I'm not saying it is physically painful. Being quiet never gave anyone an aneurism. Wait...I'm not actually sure about that. (note - further research should be done on aneurism. - also, thank you spellcheck!)
That awkward time where you want to speak, but you aren't sure what to say. You wish that all the correct words could just come pouring out of you at once. Sans all the crazy emotions that tend to come with that sort of buildup. Y'know, you just get to talking about something and next thing ya know the water works are flowing, your voice is raising, probably a few four letter words here and there. Yeah, that's what silence can help avoid. But you feel deeply that things need to be spoken about. You want to touch and be touched. Kissed and cuddled, get things hot and heavy, move past it all and just be one. As husband and wife are meant to be. You can't just go for it, for fear of rejection. That's one of the worst things a person can really feel. Rejection from a loved one. (note- rejection comes in many forms, this should be discussed on another day.)
So, what are you suppose to really do? Just sit and wait? Do you know how hard it is to walk past someone a million times with a thousand and seven things running through your head?!! Especially for someone who is a natural "chatty cathy". It is hard to just sit and wait. But to poke around, refusing to give in to the mutely requested silence will cause bigger problems. If someone doesn't wish to speak to you, you kinda have to just let it be. After all, if the tables were reversed, you would appreciate the same. You have to give what you want to receive.
That seems to be a task I'm struggling with also. Through the past few weeks, I've realized a lot about myself. There is definitely work that needs to be done. I have to realize that people are going to do what they want regardless. Don't take everything so personal, learn to let go, speak with grace and meaning, develop a filter, say what you mean and only what you mean - nothing else. The list is a mile long, really. What I can say is that as long as I do not give up, and I just continue checking things off my self to-do list; I will continue to grow as a person. Not only as a person but as a mother, wife, friend, sister...nothing bad will come from it.
So for now, my first challenge is to just embrace the silence. No matter how awkward it may feel. Maybe there is a reason for it, hopefully it brings some positivity in this rocky situation. Thoughts should not be wasted. I'd say silence isn't golden. Maybe bronze or silver because at times it is more than uncomfortable (unless we are speaking about children. In that case 9 times out of 10, it is GOLDEN!)
Yeah - Silence... It is silver, sometimes bronze...
Or so they say.
I suppose it can be good at times. You know, those times where you really shouldn't say what you're thinking. Orrrrrr, when your kids have been whiney/clingy/crying/bratty ALL day long. Yeah, I'd say silence is definitely GOLDEN then! A precious, and rare luxury.
There are also times where silence can be down right painful. For instance, when you aren't exactly getting along with your spouse. Now, sometimes you just want the other person to STOP talking, so yeah, there's a point where silence is golden. But when there is a problem, or tension that one of you would like to speak about, yet the other person really has no interest...it is painful. Obviously I'm not saying it is physically painful. Being quiet never gave anyone an aneurism. Wait...I'm not actually sure about that. (note - further research should be done on aneurism. - also, thank you spellcheck!)
That awkward time where you want to speak, but you aren't sure what to say. You wish that all the correct words could just come pouring out of you at once. Sans all the crazy emotions that tend to come with that sort of buildup. Y'know, you just get to talking about something and next thing ya know the water works are flowing, your voice is raising, probably a few four letter words here and there. Yeah, that's what silence can help avoid. But you feel deeply that things need to be spoken about. You want to touch and be touched. Kissed and cuddled, get things hot and heavy, move past it all and just be one. As husband and wife are meant to be. You can't just go for it, for fear of rejection. That's one of the worst things a person can really feel. Rejection from a loved one. (note- rejection comes in many forms, this should be discussed on another day.)
So, what are you suppose to really do? Just sit and wait? Do you know how hard it is to walk past someone a million times with a thousand and seven things running through your head?!! Especially for someone who is a natural "chatty cathy". It is hard to just sit and wait. But to poke around, refusing to give in to the mutely requested silence will cause bigger problems. If someone doesn't wish to speak to you, you kinda have to just let it be. After all, if the tables were reversed, you would appreciate the same. You have to give what you want to receive.
That seems to be a task I'm struggling with also. Through the past few weeks, I've realized a lot about myself. There is definitely work that needs to be done. I have to realize that people are going to do what they want regardless. Don't take everything so personal, learn to let go, speak with grace and meaning, develop a filter, say what you mean and only what you mean - nothing else. The list is a mile long, really. What I can say is that as long as I do not give up, and I just continue checking things off my self to-do list; I will continue to grow as a person. Not only as a person but as a mother, wife, friend, sister...nothing bad will come from it.
So for now, my first challenge is to just embrace the silence. No matter how awkward it may feel. Maybe there is a reason for it, hopefully it brings some positivity in this rocky situation. Thoughts should not be wasted. I'd say silence isn't golden. Maybe bronze or silver because at times it is more than uncomfortable (unless we are speaking about children. In that case 9 times out of 10, it is GOLDEN!)
Yeah - Silence... It is silver, sometimes bronze...
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Desperate times.
A glass of red on one side of me, a baby on the other, and an empty screen right in front. Considering I'm not exactly in the best of moods, this could turn out to be dangerous. Maybe not, who knows. Let's just see....
Being married is HARD! Thinking of couples who have made it 30,40,50+ years makes me wonder HOW? Well, first of all, the times are a-changin' and it ain't always for the best. I wonder how many relationships would be better, and would be so much stronger if it weren't for today's technology. Granted, it is amazing, convenient, and what we have all grown accustomed to. But, think about it. Not texting, emailing, face booking anyone. EVER. -gasp-
That's the way the world was "way back when". A husband had his wife's undivided attention at the end of the night when the kids were in bed. A wife never felt inferior to some image on a screen. If you had a fight, and one of you left to "cool down", you couldn't continue the argument via words on a screen. You had to actually take the time to think about what happened, and how you were going to make it better. Now, I'm not blaming technology all together. I guess what I'm saying is that it makes it easier to have no self control.
But, ah-ha!! Can all of today's technology help you gain what you may have lost? If you are going through a particular situation, what do you do? In my case, I either google, or ask all my SIBS. (Sisters in Birth, it is a long story but they're amazing). One of two, most likely both scenarios can give you a different perspective, advice, or sometimes, support when you feel like you don't have it anywhere else.
Also, maybe today's high tech world can help more when it comes to a marriage having problems. You can type out all your feelings, things that are bothering you, and any other issues that you may be having with your spouse. The opposite half does the same. You exchange emails/blogs/IMs/texts and then get back to each other with a straight up, 100% honest answer to everything. Sounds doable, right? Probably not. Why's that?
Becauuuusssssseeee, things often get either taken out of context through a text message, or you aren't careful with your proofreading and next thing you know, you're sending that message you only meant to type out to actually see it in writing! It has the potential to hurt a lot more than help. Not to mention, some issues need to be discussed face to face. For sincerity, and some other hard-core mushy feelings.
Over all, we are stuck in today's world. I'll admit, I'm a sucker for my iPhone. This is what has become of this century. I'd like to attempt a pledge. To be more personal. Have face to face contact, send more packages and hand written letters... All of that great stuff that would have made someone like my Mimi proud.
So, goodbye 2013, and helllooooo 1964!!
Being married is HARD! Thinking of couples who have made it 30,40,50+ years makes me wonder HOW? Well, first of all, the times are a-changin' and it ain't always for the best. I wonder how many relationships would be better, and would be so much stronger if it weren't for today's technology. Granted, it is amazing, convenient, and what we have all grown accustomed to. But, think about it. Not texting, emailing, face booking anyone. EVER. -gasp-
That's the way the world was "way back when". A husband had his wife's undivided attention at the end of the night when the kids were in bed. A wife never felt inferior to some image on a screen. If you had a fight, and one of you left to "cool down", you couldn't continue the argument via words on a screen. You had to actually take the time to think about what happened, and how you were going to make it better. Now, I'm not blaming technology all together. I guess what I'm saying is that it makes it easier to have no self control.
But, ah-ha!! Can all of today's technology help you gain what you may have lost? If you are going through a particular situation, what do you do? In my case, I either google, or ask all my SIBS. (Sisters in Birth, it is a long story but they're amazing). One of two, most likely both scenarios can give you a different perspective, advice, or sometimes, support when you feel like you don't have it anywhere else.
Also, maybe today's high tech world can help more when it comes to a marriage having problems. You can type out all your feelings, things that are bothering you, and any other issues that you may be having with your spouse. The opposite half does the same. You exchange emails/blogs/IMs/texts and then get back to each other with a straight up, 100% honest answer to everything. Sounds doable, right? Probably not. Why's that?
Becauuuusssssseeee, things often get either taken out of context through a text message, or you aren't careful with your proofreading and next thing you know, you're sending that message you only meant to type out to actually see it in writing! It has the potential to hurt a lot more than help. Not to mention, some issues need to be discussed face to face. For sincerity, and some other hard-core mushy feelings.
Over all, we are stuck in today's world. I'll admit, I'm a sucker for my iPhone. This is what has become of this century. I'd like to attempt a pledge. To be more personal. Have face to face contact, send more packages and hand written letters... All of that great stuff that would have made someone like my Mimi proud.
So, goodbye 2013, and helllooooo 1964!!
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Writer's block
I recently had to write an affidavit for a close friend of mine. She's going through a nasty custody battle. Something I hope and pray never happens to me. After I volunteered to do it, I started looking up examples, trying to get ideas on what to write. Each time I sat down to start it, I found myself deleting and rewriting paragraphs. Over, and over again. What the hell??
I've known this woman for 18 years. We use to make play-do hamburgers, and attempted our own salt and vinegar chip with her easy bake oven. We've always been a part of each other's lives, so I know her character. She is a good, patient, loving mother. But yet, I couldn't find the right words. Want to know how long it took me to write? (Y'know, cuz this is such an exciting blog post)
THREE DAYS! Three whole days for a measly four (small) paragraph letter. I did my best to keep it formal, truthful, believable, and above all else, in her favor for custody. Writing it actually made me nervous. Like, heart palpitations, sweaty palms, short of breath - the whole works. I don't get it. I love writing!! I LOVE HER! She's my oldest, and one of my dearest friends. You'd think my ol' noggin would have typed that out in lightening speed! Nope. Three mother effing days!!
Hanging out with my kids inspires me, stupid cupcakes, my husband doing the dishes - blah, blah, blah. That shit? I can ramble on for forever. Not this. It bothers me at how much energy it took.
Ehh, it is done, and that is all that matters.
So now, I can get back to writing about the REAL important stuff.
For instance, I got to take a trip to the library all by myself today. WAAA-HOOOO!!! (I've never sounded MORE like a Mom!)
Best 45 minutes ever. Pure silence, getting lost in the isles of books and bookish smells. Oh, it was bliss.
More important posts to come : )
I've known this woman for 18 years. We use to make play-do hamburgers, and attempted our own salt and vinegar chip with her easy bake oven. We've always been a part of each other's lives, so I know her character. She is a good, patient, loving mother. But yet, I couldn't find the right words. Want to know how long it took me to write? (Y'know, cuz this is such an exciting blog post)
THREE DAYS! Three whole days for a measly four (small) paragraph letter. I did my best to keep it formal, truthful, believable, and above all else, in her favor for custody. Writing it actually made me nervous. Like, heart palpitations, sweaty palms, short of breath - the whole works. I don't get it. I love writing!! I LOVE HER! She's my oldest, and one of my dearest friends. You'd think my ol' noggin would have typed that out in lightening speed! Nope. Three mother effing days!!
Hanging out with my kids inspires me, stupid cupcakes, my husband doing the dishes - blah, blah, blah. That shit? I can ramble on for forever. Not this. It bothers me at how much energy it took.
Ehh, it is done, and that is all that matters.
So now, I can get back to writing about the REAL important stuff.
For instance, I got to take a trip to the library all by myself today. WAAA-HOOOO!!! (I've never sounded MORE like a Mom!)
Best 45 minutes ever. Pure silence, getting lost in the isles of books and bookish smells. Oh, it was bliss.
More important posts to come : )
Friday, August 9, 2013
Mommy Maid
Since having my daughter, I've been toying with an idea. I'd like to become a personal assistant to new Mothers. They need that time to heal, and to bond with the new baby. To rest, and not worry about household chores, or the other child. If they are breastfeeding, it is nice to be able to just hang out in bed, and get use to being a human pacifier.
I had little to no help with either of my children. With baby K, I was in desperate need. I had her on Thursday, April 4th. My Mom came down that day to be with our older child so that my husband could be with me. I was released from the hospital on Saturday evening. Mom left Sunday morning, and my husband returned to work on Monday! Granted, Nick did come home and do his best to help. He cooked dinner and did the dishes, took care of Jman, and brought me anything I needed. For that, I will forever be grateful.
During the day, I struggled. Big time. So much so, that it sent me in to a depression. I just felt like I couldn't get ANYTHING together. For those first few weeks, our son was acting out. Completely forgetting that he was potty trained, screaming mad, misbehaving, and generally just had a really bad attitude. That made it harder for me. I felt like I was constantly punishing him. No matter if we had a great coloring session that morning, or if I read him books for hours, at the end of the day, I felt like a terrible Mother. To both of them! I felt like I wasn't giving either of them the attention that they needed. Adding another child in the mix is an extreme balancing act. One that would be much easier for mothers, if they could get some help those first few weeks. Or at least...that is what I keep telling myself.
Before being discharged, our hospital requires you to take a "class". Basically you get brought into a room with your new baby, and a woman talks to you about the baby basics. She also gives tips on breastfeeding and helps you with any sort of problem you may be having. During this class (I swear I'll never forget this woman) she said that in some cultures, the women have 40 days and 40 nights. LMAO, right?!! Those days, she is to be pampered, and her one and only responsibility is to bond with her new baby. She said that people in America just don't value what women go through during pregnancy and child birth. We all think that women should just bounce back. I'm guilty of it myself. I tried to do too much too soon.
I'd like to start some sort of program. I'm not sure what to call it, or how to execute it. My plan is to somehow network with some hospitals, and get signed up to help women who don't have any family around. I'll bring them food, clean their houses, let them take naps, take care of the other kids. Basically make it to where all the new mommy has to worry about is what hour to nap. PLUS- I'd get to snuggle a newborn!! How amazing would that be?? I would have gladly paid someone to come in and help me for a few weeks.
I'm going to stick with this plan, and hopefully, I will find the right resources to get there. I've said it here before, and I thoroughly, 110% agree... It takes a village to raise a child!
I had little to no help with either of my children. With baby K, I was in desperate need. I had her on Thursday, April 4th. My Mom came down that day to be with our older child so that my husband could be with me. I was released from the hospital on Saturday evening. Mom left Sunday morning, and my husband returned to work on Monday! Granted, Nick did come home and do his best to help. He cooked dinner and did the dishes, took care of Jman, and brought me anything I needed. For that, I will forever be grateful.
During the day, I struggled. Big time. So much so, that it sent me in to a depression. I just felt like I couldn't get ANYTHING together. For those first few weeks, our son was acting out. Completely forgetting that he was potty trained, screaming mad, misbehaving, and generally just had a really bad attitude. That made it harder for me. I felt like I was constantly punishing him. No matter if we had a great coloring session that morning, or if I read him books for hours, at the end of the day, I felt like a terrible Mother. To both of them! I felt like I wasn't giving either of them the attention that they needed. Adding another child in the mix is an extreme balancing act. One that would be much easier for mothers, if they could get some help those first few weeks. Or at least...that is what I keep telling myself.
Before being discharged, our hospital requires you to take a "class". Basically you get brought into a room with your new baby, and a woman talks to you about the baby basics. She also gives tips on breastfeeding and helps you with any sort of problem you may be having. During this class (I swear I'll never forget this woman) she said that in some cultures, the women have 40 days and 40 nights. LMAO, right?!! Those days, she is to be pampered, and her one and only responsibility is to bond with her new baby. She said that people in America just don't value what women go through during pregnancy and child birth. We all think that women should just bounce back. I'm guilty of it myself. I tried to do too much too soon.
I'd like to start some sort of program. I'm not sure what to call it, or how to execute it. My plan is to somehow network with some hospitals, and get signed up to help women who don't have any family around. I'll bring them food, clean their houses, let them take naps, take care of the other kids. Basically make it to where all the new mommy has to worry about is what hour to nap. PLUS- I'd get to snuggle a newborn!! How amazing would that be?? I would have gladly paid someone to come in and help me for a few weeks.
I'm going to stick with this plan, and hopefully, I will find the right resources to get there. I've said it here before, and I thoroughly, 110% agree... It takes a village to raise a child!
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Clearing the cobwebs
From my blog that is...
So, nearly FOUR months without an entry! Well, there is just no excuse for this mess.
Back on the grind. The following will contain random updates, things I've learned and probably a few lame jokes.
So, nearly FOUR months without an entry! Well, there is just no excuse for this mess.
Back on the grind. The following will contain random updates, things I've learned and probably a few lame jokes.
- The last week of May I took a trip with my kids back to SC. My baby sister graduated high school (tear), I spent quality and valuable time with loved ones. Two weeks turned into three before we even knew it. Man, it was nice being back in the country. The fresh air, farm animals, open fields everywhere. Honestly didn't realize how much I missed it. That being said, after three weeks of bouncing around to different family member's homes, I was eager to get back to my own! We came back home on Father's Day, and it was probably the best reunion ever. I hope I'm never gone from my husband for that long again.
- Family time is vital and important. Especially after you've just had a baby
- Jman and I have become addicted to the library. I can't get him to say it correctly for the life of me. I can only hope that he still isn't saying "lie-berry" in high school. Which brings me to my next bit of randomness.
- If it is nowhere near holiday time, do NOT watch Christmas movies with your three year old. It is August, and dude man won't stop telling everyone Merry Christmas.
- I've jumped on the eating right/exercising bandwagon. Well, I had a few days here and there where I slacked, but overall I'm on track. My endurance has proven to be a struggle. But, hey, what's that saying? Something like.."you're still lapping everyone who is on the couch".
- I've recently taken up a weekend job at a previous place of employment. I'm actually thrilled about this. I love the people there and who doesn't love extra money?! Plus, it gives me the chance to interact with other adults on a weekly basis!! (If you don't get why that is exciting, you probably aren't a parent.)
There are probably a hundred things that have happened, that would've inspired a great piece, but I'm just drawing a blank. My days all blend together. I should really look into getting a notebook. That way when I'm trying to maneuver those huge race-cart shopping buggies through Publix and I nearly slam into an old lady...I can write it down to blog about later. I'll go into depth about how it was near the bananas and probably drift off into talking about how damn expensive produce gets.
Or maybe, like my husband says, I'll start actually taking advantage of today's technology. Call me old fashioned, but I just like writing stuff down. (says the girl who loves to blog)
Or maybe, like my husband says, I'll start actually taking advantage of today's technology. Call me old fashioned, but I just like writing stuff down. (says the girl who loves to blog)
Monday, April 29, 2013
Staying afloat.
Week 3&4 of postpartum....
This shit has to be THE most bitter-sweet time of your entire life as a mother. I'm sure graduation and all that sort of thing is too, but that's way far away right now. I can't even think about graduation without bawling like a baby. Why am I crying?! My kids are still babies!
Nobody really talks to you about post partum while you're pregnant. Especially as a first time Mom (they don't want to scare you), and they DEFINITELY dont want to talk to you about it if you already have a child (don't want you to be mortified). Because you already know how much it sucks, but that's the thing. You have NO idea how much it is going to suck, even though you have already done it. It was SO much easier the first go round. Looking back of course I thought it was tough, nah, that was the easy stuff!
There are so many different aspects of it. Let's break it down -
If you just happen to get snippy with your spouse, and have a fight. Don't worry. It isn't the end of your life or your relationship. It's hard on them too. So, when you are overly emotional, I imagine it has to be hard for them to handle. Luckily I have a husband who comes home and cooks dinner, does the dishes, plays with his son, puts him to bed, and fetches me anything I need. For that, I will be forever grateful. The days are long doing it alone, but I know that if I can just survive the day, my rescue will come in the evenings.
This is a struggle. But it is something WORTH struggling for. I love our children deeply. May not always like the older one at times, but I still love him. Once all this postpartum nastiness passes, I hope I can be the Mom they deserve to have. So for now, I'm going to "keep swimming". This too shall pass.
This shit has to be THE most bitter-sweet time of your entire life as a mother. I'm sure graduation and all that sort of thing is too, but that's way far away right now. I can't even think about graduation without bawling like a baby. Why am I crying?! My kids are still babies!
Nobody really talks to you about post partum while you're pregnant. Especially as a first time Mom (they don't want to scare you), and they DEFINITELY dont want to talk to you about it if you already have a child (don't want you to be mortified). Because you already know how much it sucks, but that's the thing. You have NO idea how much it is going to suck, even though you have already done it. It was SO much easier the first go round. Looking back of course I thought it was tough, nah, that was the easy stuff!
There are so many different aspects of it. Let's break it down -
- You're healing. Physically. If you had an episiotomy, you're really in pain. I hear cesarean recoveries are rough too.
- Your newborn needs you nearly 24/7.
- Your (insert age of other child) needs you nearly 24/7.
- All of this combined means you have no time for yourself. And by time for yourself, what I really mean is, you have no time to shower, eat, brush your hair, or do anything that requires more than two minutes away from your children. (took me two days to write this!)
- Your emotions are ALL over the place. The smallest thing will either make you cry or piss you the eff off.
- You feel gross and you probably stink.
- Sleep?! What's that again? Oh, that's right - it's a thing of the past.
- Breastfeeding is amazing, but challenging. You are a human pacifier and at times, it gets frustrating.
- Gassy baby who won't quit crying combined with a pre-schooler who won't stop talking?? Hellllllllooooo beer thirty! (In moderation and only one if you are nursing!)
If you just happen to get snippy with your spouse, and have a fight. Don't worry. It isn't the end of your life or your relationship. It's hard on them too. So, when you are overly emotional, I imagine it has to be hard for them to handle. Luckily I have a husband who comes home and cooks dinner, does the dishes, plays with his son, puts him to bed, and fetches me anything I need. For that, I will be forever grateful. The days are long doing it alone, but I know that if I can just survive the day, my rescue will come in the evenings.
This is a struggle. But it is something WORTH struggling for. I love our children deeply. May not always like the older one at times, but I still love him. Once all this postpartum nastiness passes, I hope I can be the Mom they deserve to have. So for now, I'm going to "keep swimming". This too shall pass.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
We need a village
Kids are rough, man. I think that's why I don't particularly care for any children that aren't mine own. It is just too much to deal with. They're all gross, and demanding, more times than not, they're loud. Really loud. Don't get me wrong, I can enjoy other people's children, every baby is cute, precious, and just absolutely adorable...but it isn't the same. I don't really want to wipe their boogers or butt. I don't even want to wipe my own kids' boogers, it's gross. Don't get me started on poop. My son should win an award for the worst/nastiest poop-splosion of ALL time! I won't get into too many details, let's just say it involved the floor, dresser, tv, and his mouth. -shudder-
The pressure in raising these little disgusting little creatures is, at times, difficult to say the least. They must always be well behaved, sit nicely in public, use their manners, be intelligent, and it is probably a good idea to try to keep them clean also. (Clean toddler..LOL) As parents you are responsible for how your child ends up. I can only hope that our kids grow up with initiative, a good work ethic, intelligence, faith in something, love, confidence, and a sense of humor. How can you even think of all that stuff when your three year old only cares about keeping his grubby hands shoved down his pants?
Right now my main focus is just surviving through each day. No two are the same, especially with kids. If giving my son a lolly-pop at the beginning of our grocery shopping adventure will guarantee me a shopping trip with minimal public melt downs, I'M IN! If putting Nick JR on in the morning, in my room, will grant me an extra hour of sleep with our newborn baby, I'LL DO IT! If feeding him a PB&J three days in a row is the only way I can get him to eat lunch, guess what, that's how it's gonna happen!! I'm surviving. But...by surviving the challenging day of being Mom, am I neglecting him, or making him suffer in the long run?
As far as I'm concerned, it really does take a village to raise a child. Kids need to be surrounded by all kinds of people and family members. They need a break from you just as much as you need it from them. Plus, it is good for them to be around different personality types, see other people's POV. Develop traditions and memories with people besides you.
As much as kids who do not share my DNA kinda make me cringe (just a little), I should work on creating a village for my children and others.We could all take turns having the kids for the weekend. Big, huge, loud, crazy family dinners, the kids could play while the adultsdrink talk. It sounds perfect.
Guess I have a lot of work to do if I'm gonna make this thing happen...
The pressure in raising these little disgusting little creatures is, at times, difficult to say the least. They must always be well behaved, sit nicely in public, use their manners, be intelligent, and it is probably a good idea to try to keep them clean also. (Clean toddler..LOL) As parents you are responsible for how your child ends up. I can only hope that our kids grow up with initiative, a good work ethic, intelligence, faith in something, love, confidence, and a sense of humor. How can you even think of all that stuff when your three year old only cares about keeping his grubby hands shoved down his pants?
Right now my main focus is just surviving through each day. No two are the same, especially with kids. If giving my son a lolly-pop at the beginning of our grocery shopping adventure will guarantee me a shopping trip with minimal public melt downs, I'M IN! If putting Nick JR on in the morning, in my room, will grant me an extra hour of sleep with our newborn baby, I'LL DO IT! If feeding him a PB&J three days in a row is the only way I can get him to eat lunch, guess what, that's how it's gonna happen!! I'm surviving. But...by surviving the challenging day of being Mom, am I neglecting him, or making him suffer in the long run?
As far as I'm concerned, it really does take a village to raise a child. Kids need to be surrounded by all kinds of people and family members. They need a break from you just as much as you need it from them. Plus, it is good for them to be around different personality types, see other people's POV. Develop traditions and memories with people besides you.
As much as kids who do not share my DNA kinda make me cringe (just a little), I should work on creating a village for my children and others.We could all take turns having the kids for the weekend. Big, huge, loud, crazy family dinners, the kids could play while the adults
Guess I have a lot of work to do if I'm gonna make this thing happen...
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Now we have two
For 38 weeks and six days, I waited. On top of the usual, "will she look like me?" thoughts, I waited to see if I would have a healthy, full term baby. I wondered how my labor would be and anticipated those first few crucial moments in a new born's life. You know, when you've worked so hard to get there, then after that final push, you wait to hear that precious first cry.
Oh, the anticipation pregnancy brings, especially those last few weeks...there's just nothing like it. Intense in an understatement.
Before I hit 35 weeks, I just knew...I KNEW I would end up with another premature baby. The day I hit 35 + 1, I kept saying to myself, "it really could be any day! ANY day now!!" Never in a thousand years did I imagine being induced! I don't really recommend it either. Being induced that is...everyone needs a kid or two.
Let me just say what you already know, nobody can predict the future. You can imagine a million and seven different scenarios in your head, but none of them will come close to what actually happens. At least when it comes to anything child related. Now I'll finally quit blabbing and get to the story....
Induction was scheduled to begin Wednesday, April 3rd 2013, at nine pm. East Boca Regional Hospital (lovely place btw).
I spent the whole day Wednesday basically getting pampered. I married an AMAZING man who is the very best care taker imaginable. He cooked me one of my favorite breakfasts, did our laundry, cleaned the car, helped me pack, and of course completely took care of our first born.
So, we get to the hospital right at nine o'clock. Of course our room wasn't ready, so we waited. Only for about an hour or so, then we were called up to our room.
Room 7. Lucky number, right?! : )
The room was HUGE!! As soon as we walked in, I was just over whelmed with excitement. This is the room we would welcome our second child, a daughter, into our family. This is where it would ALL happen. I danced around with the biggest smile on my face for the longest time. Took the initiative to go ahead and get that hospital gown and belly band on. What a good patient I am....
Ten or fifteen minutes after my personal party, the nurse comes in to get things started. Asked me a thousand questions (to which I cheerfully answered each and every one), got the IV started, and inserted the Cervidil. Our plan was to take it out around 5:30 in the morning, let me have a shower, then we would start the hell juice. Oh, I mean... pitocin (amazing nick name for the drug, LK).
That is exactly what happened, so let's fast forward to that part...
6:00 AM - Pitocin drip starts. At this point I'm still cheerful, feeling fresh out of the shower. Make up in place, BRING IT ON!
6:06 - Holy eff, these things are really starting to hurt. It's okay, I've got this...
7:00 - I'm bawling my eyes out. Telling Nick that make up was a bad idea. Nobody has checked me yet, and I didn't know why. I was at 2.5 cm dilated last night, surely I had to be further along.
7:20 - Oh man, I don't know if I can do this without the epidural. It hurts. A lot.
7:45 - Let the smaller of my screams begin. The contractions feel like they are right on top of each other. I didn't remember them hurting this bad with our first baby.
(all times besides the final are an estimate at this point)
7:50 - F*ck this. Give me drugs and give them to me now. Now, now, now, NOW!
7:57 - Doctor comes in to check. "Oh, well..you're 5cm dilated, let's break your water and get you the epidural". My reply, "yes, please..I need it. I really need it now."
- The nurse says that the anesthesiologist is doing a C - section, I'm next in line.
8:00 - I'm pretty sure I'm scaring my husband shit less. I'm in pain.
8:01 - Please, please, please give me SOMETHING! SOMETHING.
8:02 - The nurse makes the wise decision to turn the pitocin drip off.
8:10 - Insert a scene from the labor ward of the mid 60's.
8:20 - Okay, the anesthesiologist is on the way. Let's check to see how far you are.
- DOCTOR! Doctor, she's already at 9.5, we need to prep. NOW!
- Me, "No, no, no... No I can not do this without - aaaahhhf*ckaaAAAAHhhh".
- Nurse: "honey, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry but you're going to have to push this baby out with no epidural. We just don't have time."
I cried. I cried because I was in more pain than I've ever known in my life. I'm 100% convinced that the only other thing that could possibly hurt worse, is getting brutally murdered. If you think I'm exaggerating, I encourage you to try being induced with no pain relief..
8:15 - They're checking me.
- Nurse: "You're at a 10, Start pushing on your next contraction!!"
(they haven't even broken the bed down yet)
8:20- I start feeling a contaction. The nurse grabs one foot, my husband grabs the other, and they yell to me. Yell for me to PUSSSHHHHHHH!!!! Push like you have to poop (no joke), C'mon..you can do it, YOU'VE GOT THIS!
But I can't push. I can only scream. At some point in my screaming, I bit my husband. Would never have known I even did it if it wasn't for the nurse screaming for me to stop. Apparently, laboring women have the strength to bite limbs off. Who would have known.
8:23- The room starts filling up with all kinds of people. So many people are talking all at once. Some to me, some to each other. I can't focus. Just trying to breathe seems like it is a much harder job than it should be.
Nick keeps brings me a cool rag for my head. My vision feels blurry. This is all happening way too fast for me. and it hurts. Dear cheese and effing rice, this shit hurts......
I'm crying my eyes out...and I'm begging for pain relief. I know it's too late, they've already told me that.. but still, I'm begging like my life depended on it.
8:25 - PUSHHHH!! "YOU CAN DO THIS!"
-no, no I can't I'm going to pass out..
(The bed is finally broken down)
Nick is bringing me more cold rags in between holding my feet back.
8:29- The doctor tells me if I can focus, we will have a baby out in two or three good pushes. I just have to FOCUS. I have to gain control, I have to be able to channel this energy.
The nurse makes me look at her through my tears and sweat. I will remember her face and her words for the rest of my life.
"Stop making all that noise girl, and just push. Get this baby out!!"
8:30 - I push. I didn't scream. I bared my teeth down, held the back of my thighs, got my chin to my chest, and I PUSHED!!!
The whole room is encouraging me at this point. They're telling me that they can feel that she has hair. I remember slightly laughing to myself. She better have hair with all the heartburn I've had for the past four months!
I can see the nurse's pity in her eyes. She knew exactly how I was feeling. (later she tells me she birthed three children with no drugs. mad respect for her!)
The urge was gone, and I cried. Harder and harder by the minute. I really needed this to be over. How the hell was I suppose to focus? I really felt like if she didn't come out soon, I wasn't going to make it.
8:35 - I feel it coming. The pressure, the intense pain. I can feel her moving down. I hear my husband cheering me on and wiping my tears.
"You can do this honey, you CAN DO THIS!" Again, I grunted, clenched my teeth, held the back of my thighs, put my chin on my chest and I pushed. Took a big, deep breath, and I did it again. PUSSSHHHHHHH!!!!
8:58- Right as I was about to give up, I gave it one more go. Just one more. I focused. Harder than I'm sure I will ever have to again. I told myself that I could do this, and that I didn't have another choice BUT to do this.
Again - I heaved my body up. Shut my eyes, grabbed my thighs, clenched my teeth, and I pushed. I don't even know if that's the right word for it. ...pushed...
Then I felt it... Just like that, I felt her body come sliding out. As soon as my husband went to tell me what I great job I did, we heard it. We heard that precious first cry. No words can describe how your heart feels when that sound pierces your ears.
I did it!!
Kinsley Nichol
Born 8:58 AM
7lbs 7 oz (Room 7!)
20 inches long
She has beautiful blonde hair, gorgeous features, and she is amazingly perfect. In every way. There was not one single thing wrong with our little angel and that is such a blessing.
It's five days later now, and I'm still recovering. Definitely a bit of damage down stairs, but I'm perfectly okay with that. She is worth every intense moment.
Oh, the anticipation pregnancy brings, especially those last few weeks...there's just nothing like it. Intense in an understatement.
Before I hit 35 weeks, I just knew...I KNEW I would end up with another premature baby. The day I hit 35 + 1, I kept saying to myself, "it really could be any day! ANY day now!!" Never in a thousand years did I imagine being induced! I don't really recommend it either. Being induced that is...everyone needs a kid or two.
Let me just say what you already know, nobody can predict the future. You can imagine a million and seven different scenarios in your head, but none of them will come close to what actually happens. At least when it comes to anything child related. Now I'll finally quit blabbing and get to the story....
Induction was scheduled to begin Wednesday, April 3rd 2013, at nine pm. East Boca Regional Hospital (lovely place btw).
I spent the whole day Wednesday basically getting pampered. I married an AMAZING man who is the very best care taker imaginable. He cooked me one of my favorite breakfasts, did our laundry, cleaned the car, helped me pack, and of course completely took care of our first born.
So, we get to the hospital right at nine o'clock. Of course our room wasn't ready, so we waited. Only for about an hour or so, then we were called up to our room.
Room 7. Lucky number, right?! : )
The room was HUGE!! As soon as we walked in, I was just over whelmed with excitement. This is the room we would welcome our second child, a daughter, into our family. This is where it would ALL happen. I danced around with the biggest smile on my face for the longest time. Took the initiative to go ahead and get that hospital gown and belly band on. What a good patient I am....
Ten or fifteen minutes after my personal party, the nurse comes in to get things started. Asked me a thousand questions (to which I cheerfully answered each and every one), got the IV started, and inserted the Cervidil. Our plan was to take it out around 5:30 in the morning, let me have a shower, then we would start the hell juice. Oh, I mean... pitocin (amazing nick name for the drug, LK).
That is exactly what happened, so let's fast forward to that part...
6:00 AM - Pitocin drip starts. At this point I'm still cheerful, feeling fresh out of the shower. Make up in place, BRING IT ON!
6:06 - Holy eff, these things are really starting to hurt. It's okay, I've got this...
7:00 - I'm bawling my eyes out. Telling Nick that make up was a bad idea. Nobody has checked me yet, and I didn't know why. I was at 2.5 cm dilated last night, surely I had to be further along.
7:20 - Oh man, I don't know if I can do this without the epidural. It hurts. A lot.
7:45 - Let the smaller of my screams begin. The contractions feel like they are right on top of each other. I didn't remember them hurting this bad with our first baby.
(all times besides the final are an estimate at this point)
7:50 - F*ck this. Give me drugs and give them to me now. Now, now, now, NOW!
7:57 - Doctor comes in to check. "Oh, well..you're 5cm dilated, let's break your water and get you the epidural". My reply, "yes, please..I need it. I really need it now."
- The nurse says that the anesthesiologist is doing a C - section, I'm next in line.
8:00 - I'm pretty sure I'm scaring my husband shit less. I'm in pain.
8:01 - Please, please, please give me SOMETHING! SOMETHING.
8:02 - The nurse makes the wise decision to turn the pitocin drip off.
8:10 - Insert a scene from the labor ward of the mid 60's.
8:20 - Okay, the anesthesiologist is on the way. Let's check to see how far you are.
- DOCTOR! Doctor, she's already at 9.5, we need to prep. NOW!
- Me, "No, no, no... No I can not do this without - aaaahhhf*ckaaAAAAHhhh".
- Nurse: "honey, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry but you're going to have to push this baby out with no epidural. We just don't have time."
I cried. I cried because I was in more pain than I've ever known in my life. I'm 100% convinced that the only other thing that could possibly hurt worse, is getting brutally murdered. If you think I'm exaggerating, I encourage you to try being induced with no pain relief..
8:15 - They're checking me.
- Nurse: "You're at a 10, Start pushing on your next contraction!!"
(they haven't even broken the bed down yet)
8:20- I start feeling a contaction. The nurse grabs one foot, my husband grabs the other, and they yell to me. Yell for me to PUSSSHHHHHHH!!!! Push like you have to poop (no joke), C'mon..you can do it, YOU'VE GOT THIS!
But I can't push. I can only scream. At some point in my screaming, I bit my husband. Would never have known I even did it if it wasn't for the nurse screaming for me to stop. Apparently, laboring women have the strength to bite limbs off. Who would have known.
8:23- The room starts filling up with all kinds of people. So many people are talking all at once. Some to me, some to each other. I can't focus. Just trying to breathe seems like it is a much harder job than it should be.
Nick keeps brings me a cool rag for my head. My vision feels blurry. This is all happening way too fast for me. and it hurts. Dear cheese and effing rice, this shit hurts......
I'm crying my eyes out...and I'm begging for pain relief. I know it's too late, they've already told me that.. but still, I'm begging like my life depended on it.
8:25 - PUSHHHH!! "YOU CAN DO THIS!"
-no, no I can't I'm going to pass out..
(The bed is finally broken down)
Nick is bringing me more cold rags in between holding my feet back.
8:29- The doctor tells me if I can focus, we will have a baby out in two or three good pushes. I just have to FOCUS. I have to gain control, I have to be able to channel this energy.
The nurse makes me look at her through my tears and sweat. I will remember her face and her words for the rest of my life.
"Stop making all that noise girl, and just push. Get this baby out!!"
8:30 - I push. I didn't scream. I bared my teeth down, held the back of my thighs, got my chin to my chest, and I PUSHED!!!
The whole room is encouraging me at this point. They're telling me that they can feel that she has hair. I remember slightly laughing to myself. She better have hair with all the heartburn I've had for the past four months!
I can see the nurse's pity in her eyes. She knew exactly how I was feeling. (later she tells me she birthed three children with no drugs. mad respect for her!)
The urge was gone, and I cried. Harder and harder by the minute. I really needed this to be over. How the hell was I suppose to focus? I really felt like if she didn't come out soon, I wasn't going to make it.
8:35 - I feel it coming. The pressure, the intense pain. I can feel her moving down. I hear my husband cheering me on and wiping my tears.
"You can do this honey, you CAN DO THIS!" Again, I grunted, clenched my teeth, held the back of my thighs, put my chin on my chest and I pushed. Took a big, deep breath, and I did it again. PUSSSHHHHHHH!!!!
8:58- Right as I was about to give up, I gave it one more go. Just one more. I focused. Harder than I'm sure I will ever have to again. I told myself that I could do this, and that I didn't have another choice BUT to do this.
Again - I heaved my body up. Shut my eyes, grabbed my thighs, clenched my teeth, and I pushed. I don't even know if that's the right word for it. ...pushed...
Then I felt it... Just like that, I felt her body come sliding out. As soon as my husband went to tell me what I great job I did, we heard it. We heard that precious first cry. No words can describe how your heart feels when that sound pierces your ears.
I did it!!
Kinsley Nichol
Born 8:58 AM
7lbs 7 oz (Room 7!)
20 inches long
She has beautiful blonde hair, gorgeous features, and she is amazingly perfect. In every way. There was not one single thing wrong with our little angel and that is such a blessing.
It's five days later now, and I'm still recovering. Definitely a bit of damage down stairs, but I'm perfectly okay with that. She is worth every intense moment.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
A round of applause
When you have a good man, take the time out every once in a while to appreciate it. My husband is not perfect, and neither am I. Actually, I'm probably the least perfect one of the two of us, but we don't have to get into all that right now. : )
Let me explain something before I get into the glorious details of how I have an awesome husband... Living where we do (two and half miles from a beautiful beach) and being able to afford it, comes with one huge down fall.
-We have no washer and dryer. I thought coping would be easier than it is. This one little fact has made my life, at times, a living hell. Other times I find that hour and a half I spend at the laundr-o-mat to be the most peaceful time for me. I'm completely alone, and sometimes that's just what I need.
Sunday is usually laundry day for me. So, like clockwork, that's what I set off to do last week. When I got back, my husband had the best surprise waiting for me at home. I walk inside, and he's already set our crazy child up at the dinner table. Said crazy child is completely chowing down on his food. No complaints, no protest, and he was actually in a great mood. (SCORE!)
Our dinner was finishing up on the stove. (No, two separate meals were not cooked. Crazy Child ate his without the sauce) Oh man, it smelled heavenly. I strolled around the kitchen, seeing if he needed help. He says to me, "no, just sit and wait, I'll bring you your plate."
Awww yeaahhhhh!!
BUT WAIT! It doesn't stop there!!! After dinner, he cleared our plates. I had to put sheets on the kid's bed, so i started doing that straight after eating so that little man could get into bed. Finished up with that, and started prepping the little one for bed. When I hear the sound....yes, the sound of.... THE DISHES BEING WASHED!!
Oh em gee - dinner was ready, and the dishes get washed?! in-freaking-credible.
Oh, you know what else?
Let me explain something before I get into the glorious details of how I have an awesome husband... Living where we do (two and half miles from a beautiful beach) and being able to afford it, comes with one huge down fall.
-We have no washer and dryer. I thought coping would be easier than it is. This one little fact has made my life, at times, a living hell. Other times I find that hour and a half I spend at the laundr-o-mat to be the most peaceful time for me. I'm completely alone, and sometimes that's just what I need.
Sunday is usually laundry day for me. So, like clockwork, that's what I set off to do last week. When I got back, my husband had the best surprise waiting for me at home. I walk inside, and he's already set our crazy child up at the dinner table. Said crazy child is completely chowing down on his food. No complaints, no protest, and he was actually in a great mood. (SCORE!)
Our dinner was finishing up on the stove. (No, two separate meals were not cooked. Crazy Child ate his without the sauce) Oh man, it smelled heavenly. I strolled around the kitchen, seeing if he needed help. He says to me, "no, just sit and wait, I'll bring you your plate."
Awww yeaahhhhh!!
BUT WAIT! It doesn't stop there!!! After dinner, he cleared our plates. I had to put sheets on the kid's bed, so i started doing that straight after eating so that little man could get into bed. Finished up with that, and started prepping the little one for bed. When I hear the sound....yes, the sound of.... THE DISHES BEING WASHED!!
Oh em gee - dinner was ready, and the dishes get washed?! in-freaking-credible.
Oh, you know what else?
He took the trash out too.
YES! This blog needs to be published so that whenever I feel irritated with Mr. Amazing, I can look back and remember how I felt.
Life is ALL about the little things!!
YES! This blog needs to be published so that whenever I feel irritated with Mr. Amazing, I can look back and remember how I felt.
Life is ALL about the little things!!
Friday, February 15, 2013
Paid in full
My neighbor is such an outstanding lady. Really feel lucky to have finally settled in next to someone we like. You have NO idea what kind of people we've been dealing with when it comes to neighbors.
Anywho - She's this cute, very petite, Jamaican lady. She's very friendly and just has this way about her, it's hard to explain. Very welcoming...yet sort of mysterious, it's interesting. She also has a wonderfully green thumb. Her portion of our backyard (we live in a duplex) is full of all sorts of things...fresh herbs, spices, medicines, flowers, plants, a cactus tree. It's incredible and so beautiful. Thankfully she's a giving soul. I love it when she knocks on our door bearing gifts from the garden.
Another thing I've recently learned about this woman, is that she's an excellent baker. Either that or someone she knows is. Yesterday (Valentine's Day) around lunch time, I got a knock on our door.
I open it, and there she was, cute little cupcake in hand. She says to me, "here, I brought this for the little guy. Hope you guys have a great Valentine's Day!"
How sweet is that?! She brought my baby a cupcake...she didn't have to do that!
Unfortunately for him, he was a major pain in mommy's ass all day. So, I held on to the cupcake for the remainder of the day...debating on what to do with it. Should I eat it or give it to its rightful owner? I mean...after all, it was meant just for him, nobody else.
The day came and left, and now here it is, the 15th. Guess who was super cranky about two hours before nap time? Uh, yep...my crazy dude. He really, really, REALLY knows how to push your buttons. Or maybe just mine. Yeah, it's probably just mine.
Lunch time came with a fight. (Note to self: Stop giving him choices for lunch. You're only making things more complicated.) Seriously, it took him nearly an HOUR to eat a peanut butter sandwich and some graham cracker things. - an hour-
You know what the best part about lunch time is? Obviously it isn't the crappy peanut butter sandwich, it's what comes AFTER! Yep, you guessed it.... nap time!!! Did anyone else hear a choir of angels singing when that was announced?!
With a huge grin, and a feeling of accomplishment, I strolled into the kitchen after the monster was snoozing away. Wiped down the counters, put the dishes away, and then I spotted it. The cute little chocolate cupcake. hmmmm. What to do, what to do.
Know what I did?
I ate it.
Slowly. Might I add, I truly enjoyed every. single. bite. The huge glass of milk I had on stand-by was a nice addition.
No, I do not feel guilty. I mean....should i?
-naaaaah
I am a (pregnant) Mom.
This should be considered payment for the actions from the last day and a half.
At this point, my only problem with the whole situation is that there was only one cupcake.
Anywho - She's this cute, very petite, Jamaican lady. She's very friendly and just has this way about her, it's hard to explain. Very welcoming...yet sort of mysterious, it's interesting. She also has a wonderfully green thumb. Her portion of our backyard (we live in a duplex) is full of all sorts of things...fresh herbs, spices, medicines, flowers, plants, a cactus tree. It's incredible and so beautiful. Thankfully she's a giving soul. I love it when she knocks on our door bearing gifts from the garden.
Another thing I've recently learned about this woman, is that she's an excellent baker. Either that or someone she knows is. Yesterday (Valentine's Day) around lunch time, I got a knock on our door.
I open it, and there she was, cute little cupcake in hand. She says to me, "here, I brought this for the little guy. Hope you guys have a great Valentine's Day!"
How sweet is that?! She brought my baby a cupcake...she didn't have to do that!
Unfortunately for him, he was a major pain in mommy's ass all day. So, I held on to the cupcake for the remainder of the day...debating on what to do with it. Should I eat it or give it to its rightful owner? I mean...after all, it was meant just for him, nobody else.
The day came and left, and now here it is, the 15th. Guess who was super cranky about two hours before nap time? Uh, yep...my crazy dude. He really, really, REALLY knows how to push your buttons. Or maybe just mine. Yeah, it's probably just mine.
Lunch time came with a fight. (Note to self: Stop giving him choices for lunch. You're only making things more complicated.) Seriously, it took him nearly an HOUR to eat a peanut butter sandwich and some graham cracker things. - an hour-
You know what the best part about lunch time is? Obviously it isn't the crappy peanut butter sandwich, it's what comes AFTER! Yep, you guessed it.... nap time!!! Did anyone else hear a choir of angels singing when that was announced?!
With a huge grin, and a feeling of accomplishment, I strolled into the kitchen after the monster was snoozing away. Wiped down the counters, put the dishes away, and then I spotted it. The cute little chocolate cupcake. hmmmm. What to do, what to do.
Know what I did?
I ate it.
Slowly. Might I add, I truly enjoyed every. single. bite. The huge glass of milk I had on stand-by was a nice addition.
No, I do not feel guilty. I mean....should i?
-naaaaah
I am a (pregnant) Mom.
This should be considered payment for the actions from the last day and a half.
At this point, my only problem with the whole situation is that there was only one cupcake.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Anyone have an extra grand?
When you have no money, you really start to question all of your previous monetary decisions. When I say NO money, I mean it. None, actually we have a fairly large negative amount. Wish I could simply turn that negative into a positive, we'd be golden then!
I can't remember being this broke in all my adult life.
Did I REALLY need that stupid purse from TJMAXX? Granted, it is adorable, and I love it...but I could sure use that thirty bucks right about now. All those fabulous dinners, sushi platters, bottles of wine. Drinks at the beach, late night pizza, trips to the Keys just to explore.
-sigh. We lived the good life.
Then came pregnancy. Of course we had no medical insurance, so I had to apply for Medicaid. Ohhhhhh whaddya know, we made SIX HUNDRED dollars TOO much a month to qualify. The case worker's suggestion, you ask? Quit my job. After too much time, and careful consideration, that's exactly what I did.
We sat down and planned it out, and figured we'd be okay, but it would be tight. A few bad decisions have left us in the hole. BIG TIME.
We will be fine. It's going to be tough, and I'm not exactly sure how we are going to get there, but we will. We always do. It's just stressful right now, and I needed a way to vent.
I can't remember being this broke in all my adult life.
Did I REALLY need that stupid purse from TJMAXX? Granted, it is adorable, and I love it...but I could sure use that thirty bucks right about now. All those fabulous dinners, sushi platters, bottles of wine. Drinks at the beach, late night pizza, trips to the Keys just to explore.
-sigh. We lived the good life.
Then came pregnancy. Of course we had no medical insurance, so I had to apply for Medicaid. Ohhhhhh whaddya know, we made SIX HUNDRED dollars TOO much a month to qualify. The case worker's suggestion, you ask? Quit my job. After too much time, and careful consideration, that's exactly what I did.
We sat down and planned it out, and figured we'd be okay, but it would be tight. A few bad decisions have left us in the hole. BIG TIME.
We will be fine. It's going to be tough, and I'm not exactly sure how we are going to get there, but we will. We always do. It's just stressful right now, and I needed a way to vent.
Monday, February 11, 2013
It's almost baby time!
We're nearing the end. 31 weeks pregnant! HOLY COW! A part of me feels like we just found out. The other part of me feels like I just may be pregnant for the rest of my life. That being said, our Jman was here at 35 weeks. So we COULD potentially have a baby within the next four weeks. (insert my freaked the eff out face here) I'm kind of hoping she decides to stay in until we are full term. The stress and worry of having a preemie is just not something I'd like to go and do again. Plus, my husband has informed me that we're done after this. Trying to come to terms that this will be my last pregnancy. It's bittersweet. Let's keep our fingers and toes crossed, pray, or just send us some good vibes for a nice, healthy, full term baby.
Going into this a second time gives me a sense of readiness that wasn't here before. I am NOT saying that I'm READY. Ha, you can never be ready. What I am saying is that I know to expect the unexpected. This little baby is the boss for at least the first nine months or so....if not longer. That's okay. My boobs will no longer belong to me, sleeping and showers will both become a luxury, and at points absolutely insanity will feel like home. Before I know it, my life will be full of spit up, colic, sleep training, soothing, nursing, and those sweet newborn snuggles. That's what I'm most looking forward to. Snuggling with a kid who is unable to protest. She will have no choice!! I'm ready and willing to face all the unexpected challenges that lie ahead.
The most important thing I will remember going into it this time, is to really soak it in. People use to tell me with my son that I should. They told me that the time would go by so fast. Looking at my teeny, tiny, precious little baby, I thought to myself, "yeah, no way...this moment will last forever". No, it doesn't. These moments go by faster than anything else. You only have a baby for a short amount of time, and that time is SO precious.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
You can take the girl out of the south...
One thing that absolutely drives me INSANE about South Florida, is how the majority of the people here have no manners, and are not helpful AT ALL.
Seriously.
Where I'm from (gotta love the south) the people in department stores greet you with a smile. The servers in restaurants aren't trying to rush you out the door. The people driving down the street wave at you for no reason at all. Everyone holds the door open for the person behind you. We also say EXCUSE ME, PLEASE, THANK YOU, and YOU'RE WELCOME! Ma'am and Sir are heard frequently no matter where you are, and someone is always willing to help you. Even if they don't really have the time, they do it anyway...because they know that someday soon, they'll need someone to help them.
People here are really, really rude.
When you leave home, you never think you'll miss it. But...I do. I miss home. Granted, I AM happy here living so close to the beach, not to mention all the other advantages of living down this way.
I miss manners, hospitality, friendly people, and GOOD SWEET TEA!!
Monday, January 28, 2013
20 extremely random things about me -
Where it may be a pointless post to make, I think it will be fun to look back on. Maybe some of this will change. Some of it won't, I know for sure that i will NEVER, EVER like black olives!
1. I can not whistle. My husband thinks it is hilarious.
2. I procrastinate too much.
3. I'm also very indecisive. It takes me forever to make a simple decision.
4. If I tell you I'll do something or be somewhere for you, I will.
5. My patience is very limited. I'm not proud of it, but it is true.
6. I typically don't really like other people's children. That sounds worse than it actually is... I find other people's children difficult to handle. (see #5)
7. I'm still in love with my husband.
8. I'm absolutely convinced that I will die in a car accident. Nobody can tell me otherwise, until I actually die.
9. I always say I want to learn another language, but never take the initiative to do so.
10. I'm not afraid of heights, but driving over bridges terrifies me.
11. My biggest fear among any and all others is that I will fail as a Mother.
12. I need glasses, but haven't had a new pair in over nine years.
13. I hate black olives.
14. I find horseback riding to be liberating, and just a little bit scary.
15. Love to go fishing, but I am completely lost on the cleaning/cooking part of it.
16. I have no talents.
17. Unless you consider making inappropriate jokes a talent, in that case, I'm golden.
18. I will watch Forrest Gump anytime it is on. No matter how many times I've seen it.
19. The only time I like gravy is when I'm eating biscuits 'n gravy.
20. To me, the ocean is the most calming place in the world.
1. I can not whistle. My husband thinks it is hilarious.
2. I procrastinate too much.
3. I'm also very indecisive. It takes me forever to make a simple decision.
4. If I tell you I'll do something or be somewhere for you, I will.
5. My patience is very limited. I'm not proud of it, but it is true.
6. I typically don't really like other people's children. That sounds worse than it actually is... I find other people's children difficult to handle. (see #5)
7. I'm still in love with my husband.
8. I'm absolutely convinced that I will die in a car accident. Nobody can tell me otherwise, until I actually die.
9. I always say I want to learn another language, but never take the initiative to do so.
10. I'm not afraid of heights, but driving over bridges terrifies me.
11. My biggest fear among any and all others is that I will fail as a Mother.
12. I need glasses, but haven't had a new pair in over nine years.
13. I hate black olives.
14. I find horseback riding to be liberating, and just a little bit scary.
15. Love to go fishing, but I am completely lost on the cleaning/cooking part of it.
16. I have no talents.
17. Unless you consider making inappropriate jokes a talent, in that case, I'm golden.
18. I will watch Forrest Gump anytime it is on. No matter how many times I've seen it.
19. The only time I like gravy is when I'm eating biscuits 'n gravy.
20. To me, the ocean is the most calming place in the world.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Where there's a stick...
"Mommy, I can't reach my car." I'm elbow deep in dishes so I say, "Okay honey, go find another toy to play with, we'll get your car later." Seriously kid, you have a million and seventeen toys, go play with something else. Just as I think that, I look over and realize that I've given birth to a mini MacGyver. He's got the broom, trying to sweep the toy from underneath the TV unit. I should also add that he calls the broom his "stick", and he doesn't pronounce stick very well. He's got the ICK part right, but for some hilarious yet horrible reason, he starts the word off with a D sound. Uhh, yeah, guess we should work on correcting that.
So now I debate.
Should I.... stop what I'm doing to help him?
Maybe... I should just wait, and see if he gets it?
OR I could sit and watch, purely for entertainment purposes.
It's kind of funny to see your three year old determined to get a toy that's out of his reach. He grunts and groans, and stretches, making all sorts of noises that you'd usually here from a plumber or something. Of course a plumber isn't nearly as cute as my son...well, no plumber I've ever met before.
I realize the TV, our cable box, the surround sound, the AppleTV, and our router just might be in danger if I leave him to this adventure. But, I'm entertained right now. Call me selfish, but I'll take any sort of cheap entertainment that I can get. So I sit, and watch, giggling to myself. Finally when he throws the broom down and yells, "MOMMY I CAN'T REACH MY CAR!!!", I decide that I should give the little guy a hand.
Wouldn't you know, after all that blog inspiring work, he didn't even want to play with that toy anymore.
So now I debate.
Should I.... stop what I'm doing to help him?
Maybe... I should just wait, and see if he gets it?
OR I could sit and watch, purely for entertainment purposes.
It's kind of funny to see your three year old determined to get a toy that's out of his reach. He grunts and groans, and stretches, making all sorts of noises that you'd usually here from a plumber or something. Of course a plumber isn't nearly as cute as my son...well, no plumber I've ever met before.
I realize the TV, our cable box, the surround sound, the AppleTV, and our router just might be in danger if I leave him to this adventure. But, I'm entertained right now. Call me selfish, but I'll take any sort of cheap entertainment that I can get. So I sit, and watch, giggling to myself. Finally when he throws the broom down and yells, "MOMMY I CAN'T REACH MY CAR!!!", I decide that I should give the little guy a hand.
Wouldn't you know, after all that blog inspiring work, he didn't even want to play with that toy anymore.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Taking the good with the bad
My health care situation is a long story that has basically left me feeling like I'm stuck inside a whirlwind. Our system is so screwed. No idea how this is going to work out. I have to just trust and believe that it will. Just like everything else always does. Some way, some how, it WILL be okay.
At the same time, I'm UBER excited that the pack&play and the travel system I selected for my registry have both been purchased today. Talk about feeling blessed!! We have had so many great things given to us lately, it's incredible. I'm not sure what a better word for grateful is, but that's what I am.
Isn't it funny how two things in the same day can make you feel two different extremes? On one hand I'm super dooper stressed, yet on the other I'm ecstatic. Why?! Is it the world's way of balancing things out for me? So I don't feel too much of a single emotion at a time?
Forgot to mention that my fridge is making that stupid noise again. Guess I should call the maintenance man today. While I'm on hold for the billionth time, I shall stare out of the window in hopes to see a delivery coming my way.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
What you doin', Mommy?!
You know what the best yet worse part of being a pregnant mother with a three year old? You are never, ever, EVER alone. -ever.
Each and every time I decide to go to the bathroom, I have an audience. WITH commentary. Boy am I lucky.
J likes to put his head on my lap and say, "What you doin' Mommy?!!"
What am I doin'? I've thought of many bold and colorful comebacks for that. Instead I just say, "Mommy is going potty, can you please go somewhere else?" He usually says, "No, I want to brush my teeth."
Right now? Really??
The lock on the door has become my friend. Even then I can't go in peace. He waits right outside. Trying to fit his hand under the door. Most of the time he yells, "MOMMY YOU OKAY?! WHAT YOU DOINNNNNN?!!!"
Does he think that each and every time I go into the bathroom, I'm going to disappear into some other world? Where I'll never, ever come back? Like some sort of Narnia for Mothers on the brink of craziness? Sounds nice actually. I'll skip the lion and the witch if I can just pee in peace!!
Each and every time I decide to go to the bathroom, I have an audience. WITH commentary. Boy am I lucky.
J likes to put his head on my lap and say, "What you doin' Mommy?!!"
What am I doin'? I've thought of many bold and colorful comebacks for that. Instead I just say, "Mommy is going potty, can you please go somewhere else?" He usually says, "No, I want to brush my teeth."
Right now? Really??
The lock on the door has become my friend. Even then I can't go in peace. He waits right outside. Trying to fit his hand under the door. Most of the time he yells, "MOMMY YOU OKAY?! WHAT YOU DOINNNNNN?!!!"
Does he think that each and every time I go into the bathroom, I'm going to disappear into some other world? Where I'll never, ever come back? Like some sort of Narnia for Mothers on the brink of craziness? Sounds nice actually. I'll skip the lion and the witch if I can just pee in peace!!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
I CAN do this!
Week 1: Operation SAHM
To say this week has been challenging with it's ups and downs is an understatement, and I'm not even done yet!
Day 1 - I can't even remember the full events and details of the day. I only remember that I remember feeling scared for the future by the end of it all. Sounds dramatic, I know. When your first day starts off like crap, that's what happens, you get scared.
Day 2 - Was GREAT! Jman was well behaved all day. We were played at the park, did some coloring, nice lunch, awesome nap. Got an amazing surprise from the hubster during lunch hours : )
Couldn't have been better.
Day 3 - Uhhhhh, what in the HELL did I do wrong in life to deserve a day like this?! It ended quite nicely just because I married an awesome man. But my child?! Yeah, he KICKED a random stranger today. Yes, my sweet boy actually KICKED someone. I was mortified.
Day 4 - Well, that's today. I figured nows a good time to get back into blogging. It's 9:37am.
So far so good. The little monster just randomly hugged my neck and said, "you my favorite mommy".
Please, oh please... let this be a good day!
To say this week has been challenging with it's ups and downs is an understatement, and I'm not even done yet!
Day 1 - I can't even remember the full events and details of the day. I only remember that I remember feeling scared for the future by the end of it all. Sounds dramatic, I know. When your first day starts off like crap, that's what happens, you get scared.
Day 2 - Was GREAT! Jman was well behaved all day. We were played at the park, did some coloring, nice lunch, awesome nap. Got an amazing surprise from the hubster during lunch hours : )
Couldn't have been better.
Day 3 - Uhhhhh, what in the HELL did I do wrong in life to deserve a day like this?! It ended quite nicely just because I married an awesome man. But my child?! Yeah, he KICKED a random stranger today. Yes, my sweet boy actually KICKED someone. I was mortified.
Day 4 - Well, that's today. I figured nows a good time to get back into blogging. It's 9:37am.
So far so good. The little monster just randomly hugged my neck and said, "you my favorite mommy".
Please, oh please... let this be a good day!
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